{"id":254,"date":"2012-10-24T17:18:23","date_gmt":"2012-10-24T22:18:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/whywesuckblog.wordpress.com\/?p=111"},"modified":"2012-10-24T17:18:23","modified_gmt":"2012-10-24T22:18:23","slug":"you-suck-if-you-don%e2%80%99t-know%e2%80%a6beetlejuice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/2012\/10\/you-suck-if-you-don%e2%80%99t-know%e2%80%a6beetlejuice\/","title":{"rendered":"You suck if you don\u2019t know\u2026Beetlejuice"},"content":{"rendered":"

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=YWuHHMuxTQY<\/a><\/p>\n

That\u2019s a face only a mother can love. But then again, you probably only get that face if your mother loves crack so much that she still does it when she\u2019s pregnant. I guess then it\u2019s a face that only a mother can love because she\u2019s high on crack. <\/span>Regardless, this is Lester Green, or better known as Beetlejuice. Beet is part of Howard Stern\u2019s \u201cWack Pack<\/a>\u201d or essentially a group of people who would have been circus freaks and kept in cages with miniature ponies before feminists and virgins decided everyone else can\u2019t enjoy those types of things, but instead are featured on a satellite radio show with millions and millions of listeners. In terms of political correctness, The Wack Pack is the exact opposite of the term \u201cintellectual disability.\u201d<\/p>\n

Side rant- Intellectual disability is so far from an accurate characterization of being retarded that it\u2019s honestly more offensive. President Obama signed a law that replaced \u201cmental retardation\u201d with \u201cintellectual disability\u201d in all Federal statues. The fucking President had to take time away from killing terrorists and helping sick, poor, and- wait for it- actual retards to tell us we can\u2019t say retard. Mentally challenged, developmentally challenged, special- when you hear these words in your head your just saying \u201cOkay, I think he means retard.\u201d\u00a0 Retard is and always will be how we conceptualize these types of people. Using that word shouldn\u2019t change how you treat them. Is it better to point and laugh at someone trying to scoop a whole jar of peanut butter in their mouth and scream \u201cLook at that intellectually disabled person!\u201d or should we take the time and speak with them and get to know them and let them know \u201cHey, you know what- you\u2019re a pretty cool retard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Intellectual disability. Please. Retarded people aren\u2019t intellectually disabled- people who sit in a room and think up names for retards are intellectually disabled.<\/p>\n

Anyway. Beetlejuice. The best place to really appreciate his brilliance is on his Twitter page. Being 4 foot 3 inches and having a head the size of a peach are pretty good indicators that you can\u2019t really do stuff normally. So Beet has a handler of sorts.\u00a0 He drives him around, make sure he remembers how to breathe, feeds him, whatever he needs to not die basically. He also manages the Twitter feed because, believe or not, Beet cannot read or write or spell<\/a> or remember his password. How it works is you tweet @beetlepimp asking a question for Lester\u2019s handler to then go and ask Beet himself. Beetle responds and his answer is transcribed in words so vivid its like you have your very own 44 year old black dwarf.<\/p>\n

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The tweets are Internet gold. The misunderstandings, insults, sexual images are as plentiful as they are unbelievably hilarious. With nearly 43,000 followers you can feel comfort in knowing thousands of other people are laughing at a retard so it\u2019s perfectly okay for you to also. Beet may take a few days off from the Twitter, but getting an alert to know when he\u2019s back tweeting is the best way to get him to answer your question and never miss his nuggets of wisdom.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve liked what you\u2019ve seen in these short clips and tweets, there are hours and hours of Beet footage online. Something about watching him try to reason through things is so mesmerizing. It\u2019s like vicariously being on some mind-bending acid heroin meth crazy pills trip. I can\u2019t think of anyone else I would want to be for a day. Sure Brad Pitt fucks Angelina Jolie and Derek Jeter plays in the World Series and also probably fucks Angelina Jolie, but I would want to be Beet. Thinking his thoughts. Feeling his feelings. Hanging out with other tards. Spend your day with Beet. Enjoy these videos-<\/p>\n

watch?v=oqBuFRhIbgs<\/a><\/p>\n

watch?v=4PrCXwgVjAg<\/a><\/p>\n

watch?v=684XZr5HlOY<\/a>\u00a0*Personal favorite* This is a\u00a0long<\/em>\u00a0 video of Beet trying to order chinese food. I’ve probably watched the whole thing in its entirety at least 4 or 5 times. Yes that means I suck for wasting an hour of my life on a video where no food is actually ordered and delivered. I don’t care, I could watch it everyday. Makes me think my life will never be complete until I have my very own Beet.<\/p>\n

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https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=YWuHHMuxTQY That\u2019s a face only a mother can love. But then again, you probably only get that face if your mother loves crack so much that she still does it when she\u2019s pregnant. I guess […]\"\" Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1016,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1016"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=254"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":387,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions\/387"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}