{"id":336,"date":"2012-11-28T12:15:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T17:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/?guid=ac55c0212453b0ef3fddf3604e813d05"},"modified":"2012-11-29T13:28:35","modified_gmt":"2012-11-29T18:28:35","slug":"things-pictures-with-santa-are-kind-of-like-meetings-with-the-dean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/2012\/11\/things-pictures-with-santa-are-kind-of-like-meetings-with-the-dean\/","title":{"rendered":"THINGS: Pictures with Santa Are (kind of) Like Meetings with the Dean"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Well, folks, the Christmas season is here! <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Now that we’ve all tolerated those fake made-up, commercialized holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving, we can get to the real<\/i> holiday we all look forward to: Christmas. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Confession time: This is actually the first year I have listened to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Usually this<\/a> is my sentiment about the holidays, but I just couldn’t resist the crooning of Michael Bubl\u00e9 and the cheeriness of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” My sincerest apologies. <\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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There are plenty of things about the Christmas season to look forward to. First, there’s the fabulous launch of Black Friday. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Just a note on naming things after colors: I’ve noticed that if it’s named after a color, it’s usually a disease. Black lung, Black Death, Black Plague, yellow fever, scarlet fever, jaundice, red measles, pink eye. Black Friday…conveys my sentiments exactly.<\/i><\/div>\n
Here in America, we\u2019ve decided it would be a good idea to make this madness last two days and put our laziness to work; I give you \u201cCyber Monday\u201d! Next, you’ve got the longest marathon of tacky original movies ever (Thanks, ABC’s “25 Days of Christmas”!)<\/i> And then there are all the chaotic, traffic-filled shopping malls you love. Don’t forget the joy of choosing a Christmas tree (if you haven’t copped out and bought a fake one yet)<\/i> and the entire festivity that is decking the halls<\/a>. You get to again realize that you suck at cutting pretty paper and using Scotch tape properly. You\u2019re blessed with the symphony of ringing doorbells as boy scouts and other small children walk miles to sell you popcorn<\/a> and chocolates and giftwrap and other useless crap. And this year, on top of all of that, you have the joy of worrying about the end of 13pik in the Maya Long Count calendar!<\/o:p><\/div>\n
            Don\u2019t worry, guys. My archaeology TA is Mayan and she promised me that the world wouldn\u2019t end.<\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Am I forgetting anything? <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Ah, yes! The wonderful privilege of having your photograph taken with the one and only Santa Claus!<\/o:p><\/div>\n
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You see, though he is only one man, Santa has somehow found a way to be in every mall, town hall, and children\u2019s store simultaneously. I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m impressed. Such a skill would be priceless. I\u2019m not entirely sure where in the parenting handbook it says to place your child on the lap of a complete stranger<\/a> impersonating a 4th<\/sup> c Greek saint, but my parents followed the handbook.<\/div>\n
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I remember it being quite an ordeal. Mom would buy matching formal outfits for you and your sister. Matchy-matchy all the way! After at least 30 minutes of hair-doing and tights-straightening, Mom said you looked \u201cso cute!\u201d You turn to your sister and give her the let\u2019s-get-this-over-with look. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Pile into the car! You\u2019ve done this since you were born. But you can\u2019t really remember. You were only, like, a baby then. And now you\u2019re four, so it\u2019s really different, you know?<\/o:p><\/div>\n
Mom tries to explain what\u2019s going to happen in her best Christmas cheer voice. You were too little to understand just how strange the entire concept was, so you just went along with it. Something about a picture, smiling, not pulling your sister\u2019s hair this year, and Santa. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
SANTA. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
There was<\/i> something in it for you: the wish. When it was your turn, you could tell Santa just what you hoped he\u2019d bring you on Christmas morning. The pressure is on. What to say? You\u2019d been making that wish list since last Christmas, and now you had to pick just one thing that you wanted the most?! Well, you had some time to think about it. You brought your list with you and mom can read it to you while you wait in line behind all those other suckers who think they\u2019re the best kids there. Santa knows, guys. You\u2019re all getting coal. <\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
Your turn. Alright: picture? Check. Smiling? Check. Not pulling sister\u2019s hair this year? Eh\u2026Ok fine. Santa? <\/o:p><\/div>\n
\u201cSANTA?! I know him!\u201d<\/a><\/o:p><\/i><\/div>\n
Yes! This is your moment, kiddo. You\u2019ve waited since last year. Don\u2019t freeze up. You\u2019ve gotta say\u2026uh\u2026 oh! That\u2019s right! <\/o:p><\/i><\/div>\n
\u201cMister Santa, can I please have a pink puppy?\u201d <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Phew. Alright, that went pretty well.<\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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And there you have it! Evidence of your successful endeavor is later placed in a frame and set on the mantel for all of the weird relatives to marvel at on Christmas morning. <\/o:p><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
We’re Santa’s favorites<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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But now that I\u2019m all grown up, I don\u2019t get to tell Santa what I want anymore. I don\u2019t take wear matchy-matchy outfits with Camille and have funny pictures taken with a stranger in a pretend beard and a red suit. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m a serious university student now. And university scholars don\u2019t have pictures with Santa, they have meetings with the Dean, like I had on Monday. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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It turns out that the Dean is quite like Santa in some ways. And meetings with the Dean, essentially elevator pitches<\/a>, are kind of like taking a picture with Santa. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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It\u2019s quite an ordeal. Mom helps you choose a formal outfit. Preppy all the way! After at least 30 minutes of hair-doing and tights-straightening, Mom says you look \u201cso cute!\u201d You turn to your roommate and give her the let\u2019s-get-this-over-with look. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Run across campus! You\u2019ve done this since you were in middle school. It\u2019s just a teacher conference of sorts. But you can\u2019t really remember. You were only, like, a baby then. And now you\u2019re nineteen, so it\u2019s really different, you know?<\/o:p><\/div>\n
The office assistant tries to explain what\u2019s going to happen in her best collegiate cheer voice. You were too little to understand the entire concept, so you just went along with it. Something about forms you had to fill out, smiling, not pulling any funny business, and the Dean. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
THE DEAN. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
There was<\/i> something in it for you: the wish. When it was your turn, you could tell the Dean just what you hoped she\u2019d approve for you \u2013 a custom major called Cosmopolitanism. The pressure is on. What to say? You\u2019d been working on this idea since last year, and now you had just one meeting to express the entire premise of the major you wanted most?! Well, you had some time to think about it. You brought your list with you and you can read it to you while you wait in line behind all those other suckers who think they\u2019re the smartest kids there. The Dean knows, guys. Your majors aren\u2019t as cool as mine. <\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
Your turn. Alright: forms? Check. Smiling? Check. Not pulling any funny business? Eh\u2026Ok fine. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
The Dean? Yes! <\/o:p><\/div>\n
This is your moment, kiddo. You\u2019ve waited since last year. Don\u2019t freeze up. You\u2019ve gotta say\u2026uh\u2026 oh! That\u2019s right! <\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
\u201cDean Bergquist, I would like to create my own major called Cosmopolitanism. I have all of the paperwork right here and I\u2019d love to chat about proposing it as a departmental major.\u201d <\/o:p><\/div>\n
Phew. Alright, that went pretty well.<\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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And there you have it! A beautiful, signed and approved form; evidence of your (hopefully) successful endeavor will later be placed in a frame and set on the mantel for all of the weird relatives to marvel at on Christmas morning. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Psych! I totally took a picture with Santa this year. Merry start of the Christmas season!<\/o:p><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
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That’s little, enthusiastic me in the bottom right!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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Well, folks, the Christmas season is here! Now that we’ve all tolerated those fake made-up, commercialized holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving, we can get to the real holiday we all look forward to: Christmas. Confe… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":949,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[306,296,64,153,308,307,305,149,152],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-awkward","category-christmas","category-college","category-holidays","category-meetings","category-pictures","category-santa","category-social-norms","category-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/949"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=336"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":859,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions\/859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}