{"id":767,"date":"2012-10-16T22:11:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-17T03:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/?guid=27bd51454e04260be216b475e84cdb0e"},"modified":"2012-10-17T11:07:18","modified_gmt":"2012-10-17T16:07:18","slug":"people-bad-days-are-kind-of-like-birthdays-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/2012\/10\/people-bad-days-are-kind-of-like-birthdays-2\/","title":{"rendered":"PEOPLE: Bad Days Are (kind of) Like Birthdays"},"content":{"rendered":"

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You probably think I\u2019m crazy for saying that. But stick with me.<\/div>\n
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Today was a shambly day for a dear friend of mine. Plain and simple, she had a bad day (cue the extremely over-played <\/i>Daniel Powter one-hit wonder<\/i><\/a>). <\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Today is also the 19th<\/sup> birthday of another fabulous girl<\/a>I\u2019m proud to call friend.  <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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How could two such opposite events both occupy October 16th<\/sup>?<\/o:p><\/div>\n
The answer is simple: Maybe they aren\u2019t so opposite after all. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Bad days. Every now and then there comes a day that you don\u2019t really want to talk about, but deep down inside you kind of do<\/i> want to talk about it because then at least you\u2019re not the only one who knows how crappy everything is. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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You\u2019ve pretty much got two choices here:<\/o:p><\/div>\n
1.     <\/span>You can go around whining and complaining to everyone who will hear your tragic tale, so at least you aren\u2019t alone in the depths of despair (since you\u2019ve dragged everyone else down there with you). <\/o:p><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
OR…<\/span><\/div>\n
2.     <\/span>You can keep it quiet and not let a soul know that anything is wrong, suffering silently, but at least you\u2019re not burdening everyone else with your problems. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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As you can see, keeping your bad day a secret or making it the most obnoxious part of everyone\u2019s Facebook feed has essentially the same result. It\u2019s a very fitting lose-lose situation, compounding the frustration. As if having a terrible day wasn\u2019t bad enough!<\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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One last precaution on the silent treatment. Because what happens the next day? If you don\u2019t tell anyone, and then, inevitably your woe-is-me story surfaces, chances are that your friends are going to pity you and say something along the lines of \u201cWhat? Really? Why didn\u2019t you tell me you had a rough day? You know I\u2019m here for you, right?\u201d Now you\u2019re really stuck. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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The flip side of bad days is that they are a reminder that every other day must be a good day simply by comparison! So while today might be Challenger Deep<\/a>low, other days must be at least sea level; maybe a few are even Mount Everest<\/a> high. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Birthdays. Say it\u2019s yours. You don\u2019t really want to talk about it and announce your perceived self-importance to the rest of the universe, but deep down inside you kind of do <\/i>want to talk about it because then at least you can insure that somebody besides you will acknowledge your special day. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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Again, you\u2019ve pretty much got two choices here:<\/o:p><\/div>\n
1.     <\/span>You can go around reminding everyone you know that your birthday is in 47 days so they should probably start planning something now. And you don\u2019t want a surprise party or anything, but you never had one as a kid and it sure would be nice. But they don\u2019t need to feel like they have to buy you anything because it\u2019s not that big of a deal, just the day that your grand entrance into planet Earth forever shattered the course of human history. The positive side? At least you won\u2019t have to bake your own cake<\/a>.  (Other ideas for your Betty Crocker-type friends: something like this one<\/a>I had when I turned 5).<\/o:p><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OR…<\/div>\n
2.     <\/span>You can keep it quiet and not let anyone know that your birthday is tomorrow, because you\u2019re mature and you don\u2019t need to make a big show of it. You guess it\u2019s ok if you\u2019re not showered with presents and desserts\u2026At least you\u2019re not making everybody feel obligated to celebrate you against their will. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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As you can see, keeping your birthday a secret or making it the most obnoxious part of everyone\u2019s Facebook feed has essentially the same result. It\u2019s a very merry unbirthday type of lose-lose situation, compounding the frustration. And we\u2019re supposed to be celebrating today!<\/i><\/o:p><\/div>\n
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And one last precaution on the silent treatment. Because what happens the next day? If you don\u2019t tell anyone it\u2019s your birthday, and then, inevitably your desk is littered with \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d cards from your relatives back home who remembered, chances are that your friends are going to pity you and say something along the lines of \u201cWhat? Really? Why didn\u2019t you tell me it was your birthday? I would have gotten you a gift or something!\u201d Again, you\u2019re stuck. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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On the flip side, while birthdays might be starting to make you feel a little old,  they\u2019re a reminder of just how great it is to be alive! Some people can only dream about the chance to celebrate another birthday, but here we are, complaining about how age 50 is the death of us<\/a>. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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So do yourself a favor and solve both of these moral dilemmas. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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If you\u2019re having a bad day, take a little \u201cme-time\u201d and just relax. Do something mindless, something you love \u2013 draw, cook, program websites \u2013 whatever it takes.  Chances are that your day isn\u2019t really as terrible as you think it is. Sit down with a trustworthy friend and review the day\u2019s events. I bet you\u2019ll find that either you\u2019ve exaggerated the situation just a little bit, or (even if your day is truly disastrous) your friend has some comforting advice. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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If it\u2019s your birthday, plan your own kind of celebration. The point of a milestone of life isn\u2019t that somebody else remembers it, but that you get to remember it. You\u2019ve lived a whole year from the last time you had a cake with your name on it! Think about all that happened in that year and get excited about what\u2019s to come. Call your mom and thank her profusely for pushing you (literally and figuratively) into the beautiful world you now live in. <\/o:p><\/div>\n
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\u2026And if you\u2019re really desperate to have other people remember your birthday too, there\u2019s nothing Yahoo answers<\/a> can\u2019t help you with. It\u2019s a casual approach\u2026kind of.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You probably think I\u2019m crazy for saying that. But stick with me.Today was a shambly day for a dear friend of mine. Plain and simple, she had a bad day (cue the extremely over-played Daniel Powter one-hit wonder). Today is also the 19th birthday of an… Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":949,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[153,150,149],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","category-people","category-social-norms"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/949"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=767"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1042,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767\/revisions\/1042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/artofblogging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}