Personal Well-Being Category

... lifestyle
changes can prevent recurrences while campus resources can help with coping

Panic Attacks? Definitely Possible

Jan. 22, 2019—Somto Dimobi,’19, Egineering Before college, I thought I knew how to study perfectly, and I had never experienced anything close to a panic attack, especially not in an exam hall. In my head, exams, academics and I were a trio of best friends. Until my sophomore year, I had no clue about the concept of mental health...

Balancing Work, School, and Life

Jan. 14, 2019—Alex Rains, ’20, Arts & Sciences For me, coming to Vanderbilt as a first-year meant making new friends, taking classes in interesting subjects, trying out extracurricular activities, and one non-negotiable: finding a job. My family does not suffer as a result of our financial situation, but the cost of my attending Vanderbilt definitely made money tight...

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Dec. 14, 2018—Ana T. Dao, ’21 Vanderbilt is like a lottery. You need to take risks all the time – whether it is applying to a school you only know from pictures and brochures or sitting down with a stranger in the dining hall. There is always a possibility of everything failing, but you take the leap...

“The pressure to conform was ever-present, sometimes even self-inflicted, and I endured it for a time. But that didn’t stop it from slowly eroding away my sense of sincerity and purpose and identity as a student and friend at Vanderbilt until eventually I cracked.”

Identity, Adversity, and the Weight of Conforming

May. 2, 2017—“…I thought he was gay…”—five words that haunted me for the first twenty years of my life. I heard them whispered through the halls of my middle school by the “popular kids” that I wanted so badly to impress. I felt their scornful and demoralizing intentions in the concerned words of my Sunday school teachers...

I woke up early one summer morning with a sense of unrest. Only a few hours previously, we had celebrated my friend’s twentieth birthday; yet, for some inexplicable reason, I felt lonely with a sense of longing for home. Having only been home for three weeks this summer, I dismissed my emotions for homesickness and got ready.

On the walk to Stevenson, I called her, my best friend from Chicago, but I was left with the sound of her voice on the answering machine. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that I would find that that would be the last time I would hear her voice. On the night of June 30th, my best friend had committed suicide. It was the 21st of July, three weeks after the incident.

My entire being went numb while my brain searched for a logical explanation. “I had literally talked to her three weeks ago.” Last phone call: June 29th. “She must have run away from home.” The police had located her body. “There must be a mistake.”

I was stunned – how could this happen? I felt angry – how did they let me live three weeks in oblivion? I felt guilty – how was I unable to prevent this from happening? I was exhausted – how can I mentally process all this when it just didn’t feel real? But most of all, I felt desperate – how can I turn back the clock?

I spent the last three weeks of summer break with my thoughts. I felt torn between knowing she was gone but feeling like it was all a mistake. In my mind, she is living happily on a farm in Lithuania – her happy place. But maybe I’m just naïve.

My parents were constantly worried about me, giving me passes, every time I did something crazy. My friends always had a sense of pity in their voices, wanting to help, but not knowing how. I was constantly assuring them that I was doing okay. They couldn’t understand that like everything, I wanted to handle this myself.

This is when I admit that I am naïve. I don’t understand how I thought that I could do this without help. Every time I thought I was doing okay, the smallest things would remind me of her, engulfing me back into despair. It became so hard to focus on myself. I slowly became someone I couldn’t recognize.

But finally, time had caught up to me, and I don’t know if it was the stress of the semester or the pressure from holding it in for so long, but I began talking about it with my friends. The more people I told, the easier it got to express myself and my feelings more openly. And yes, the same worry and pity that I tried so hard to avoid were back, but somehow they didn’t bother me as much anymore. I began to embrace these feelings, better understanding the support rather than the judgement behind them.

Being vulnerable is never easy, especially for me, someone who’s always been so independent my entire life. But sometimes it can lead to beautiful things. My vulnerability has helped me understand myself better, build stronger relationships, and overall, experience life from a new, happier perspective.

Losing a Loved One

Apr. 27, 2017—Haneesha Paruchuri, ’19 College of Arts and Sciences I woke up early one summer morning with a sense of unrest. Only a few hours previously, we had celebrated my friend’s twentieth birthday; yet, for some inexplicable reason, I felt lonely with a sense of longing for home. Having only been home for three weeks this...

FAILURES IN A BOTTLE

Mar. 29, 2017—Andrew Brodsky, ’18, Peabody College, Student VUceptor At times, it seems the problem on our campus is that everyone is just too talented. There is someone here who is better than you at everything, and without any effort at all. They’re double majoring in chemical and biomedical engineering, studying abroad, and feeding 2,000 starving children...

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

Mar. 29, 2017—Julian Sun, ’17, College of Arts and Science One night last semester, I went to Kissam’s Munchie Mart to get my routine midnight swipe: blue Powerade, a bag of chips (barbeque flavor), and the best red apple I could dig out of the remaining bruised ones. This was so automatic for me that I didn’t notice there...

P.S.: STRUGGLING WITH COMING OUT

Mar. 29, 2017—Tom Agger, ’17, School of Engineering When I finally came out to my parents, I was relieved. “Finally, I’m done with this” I thought to myself. I had started writing them a very generic camp letter. I don’t know who came up with the idea that kids and parents would both rejoice at the exchange...

Cafe Coco .(John Russell/Vanderbilt University)

MAKING IT WORK

Mar. 29, 2017—Georgia Murray, ’19, College of Arts and Science Jordan Barone, ’16, College of Arts and Science “Oh, you work at the Pub, right?” Second only to “Aren’t you the British one?” this is the greeting I’m most used to when I meet new people on campus. Honestly, I hadn’t expected these two little facts to...

The transition to college life can be especially difficult for a person with autism. Socially, it’s challenging for most everyone—but for someone with a social disability it can be overwhelming.

FINDING COMFORT IN IDENTITY: LIVING WITH AUTISM

Mar. 29, 2017—Emelyne Bingham, Senior Lecturer in the Teaching of Music, Blair School of Music, Faculty VUceptor Kyle Schwartz, ’19, College of Arts and Science Thanks to Vanderbilt Visions, we were fortunate to have formed a friendship through the common experience of living with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). While we received our diagnoses at different ages (Kyle at...

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