The Pursuit of Happiness

What is happiness? A quick Google search will tell me “the state of being happy,” “a mental or emotional state of well-being,” and even “the positive range of emotions we feel when we are content or full of joy.”  But what exactly does that mean? The meaning of the word itself seems just as elusive as finding that state of mind. And speaking of, how do you find that state of mind anyways? Is it in spending a weekend with your family? Or getting an A on a test? Is it in finally mastering that concerto? Or taking a vacation for yourself?

Someone once told me, “Happiness is not an object you can find, but rather a mentality you can choose.” This got me thinking. Is being happy really a choice? Do the people who seem to radiate sunshine and rainbows simply have that ability because they choose it? Do the people who struggle with depression just choose not? According to researchers, 40% of our own level of happiness is due to our choices (the other 60% from genetics and life circumstances beyond our control). But, I’m not sure it’s all that simple. Take this for example. Let’s call this person, “Person X.” All throughout childhood, she was happy. She found beauty in the little things, laughed to no end. Even through freshman year of high school she found herself genuinely smiling and finding happiness everywhere. But somewhere, midway through high school, it changed. Suddenly, smiles could not always replace stress. Laughter was not always a remedy for exceptionally lazy days. It seemed as though happiness could no longer overcome the hardships. And things remained that way for a while. The reasons for this sudden, seemingly irreversible shift are still unclear but what I can tell you is that it was never a choice (and it wasn’t genetics or life circumstances either). And I say that with 100% certainty because Person X was me. If I had the choice, I would not have chosen to struggle through years of ups and downs and uncertainties. I would not have chosen to let my difficulties get the best of me. Would anyone choose hardship over happiness?

Scientists think they have begun to debunk the myth surrounding happiness. I, as a life-long math and science nerd, have always believed in the power of research, the honesty of science. But my experiences have led me to question these studies. They have their fancy definitions, one of which describes happiness as “having three parts: pleasure, engagement, and meaning” (Martin Seligman, a leading researcher in positive psychology and author of “Authentic Happiness”). According to Seligman here, having the “feel good” (pleasure), a “good life” of work, family, friends, and personal interests (engagement), and contributing to a larger purpose (meaning) would make someone happy. Despite being able to laugh and smile every now and then, having an amazing network of family and friends backing me, and my love for dance and playing the cello, I did not find that happiness I was looking for. This formula, it seems, is not always foolproof. Researchers also claim that gathering positive emotions can make us feel happier and help us gain resiliency. But isn’t it the lack of these positives the whole reason why we’re in trouble? Do you see the catch-22 here? Psychologists even also have a list of  “people who are happier.” But it doesn’t mean that by fulfilling all those qualities would make me a happy person? The only thing I can seem to agree with is that there is a difference between moment-by-moment happiness and long-term happiness. But really, all I gather from these studies is that the key to happiness is still very much unclear.

So what is it that makes happiness so mysterious? Perhaps, its subjectivity. Or maybe an overall lack of understanding (though I’m not sure science will ever be able to tell us what we need). But I suppose, in a way, that makes achieving it so much more worthwhile. After all, a document with so much detail otherwise, offers nothing more than the constitutional right to the “pursuit of happiness.” I guess we’re on our own in figuring out exactly what that means for each of us.

Source:

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/happiness/what-happiness