It was always like an adventure to me. Full cabinets, one after another, like lines of caves waiting for me to explore within. An abundance of bottles lining the benches like diamonds longing to be mined and released from entrapment. Unfamiliar contraptions like wild beasts waiting to be brought to life and tamed. There, I had a foreign world at my fingertips, beckoning for me to take part of the greatest ventures. And I obliged.
As a child, I embarked on this wonderful journey full of discovery and novelty and through it I found much more than I ever could have hoped for. This journey unconventionally taught me more through observation and the act of doing than through the end result of any of my quests; it taught me how to be a successful person, not just a prosperous explorer. But it also gave me an arsenal of skills and ways of thinking that would prove essential for most of my adult life. I quickly learned that precision was essential. I could calculate every intention, every tool, and every movement to the finest detail. Yet, one slightly-off sleight of hand or one delayed action could eliminate any remnant of even the most perfect calculation. I ultimately concluded that to venture in any quest I must go forth with all the right intentions and act according to the greater picture.
It also became apparent to me that no quest could be guaranteed to be conquered instantaneously. It would take multiple attempts, hundreds of repetitions of the same movements and processes to triumph. In the end I had learned that each adventure must be taken with ambition and perseverance because no pursuit was an easy task. However, more importantly I knew that I must abandon the notion of instant gratification with which my generation is so closely associated and learn to see the long-term implications of my work. If I went through the motions hundreds of times before getting my intended result, it was to be expected. If I conquered it on my first try, it was a lucky shot. These so-called commandments that developed painstakingly from my years of exploring my foreign world began to shape me as a person far beyond the realm I was contained within.
My adventure was a childhood full of science, growing up exposed to an array of UChicago’s medical research labs. It was in these labs that I spent hours watching my parents and grandparents perform experiment after experiment, pulling treasures from my undiscovered caves, utilizing my diamonds-in-the-rough, and taming my wild beasts. Side-by-side with my researchers, I’d fill ELISA plates with colored dyes and test tubes with powdered milk. Though I wasn’t actually accomplishing anything scientific, I loved my time in the labs. For as long as I can remember, we all spent so much time there that my family’s colleagues would jokingly call me a test-tube baby, claiming that with all that time in the labs I must have been created artificially by my scientist parents. However, jokes aside, it was this childhood, filled with the wonders of scientific research, that shaped me into a person with persistence, excitement, and curiosity.
Though I never knew it at the time, it was my childhood pastime that led me to my desire of entering science and engaging in medical research—this collection of memories that eventually led me to my dream of becoming a doctor. When I entered my high school years and performed this research myself (with real proteins and antibodies instead of just dyes), I discovered the true beauty of making scientific discoveries and the implications they would leave within (or is it upon? They both sounded a little awkward to me) society. And now, as someone who is halfway done with her college experience, I chuckle at the complaints of my classmates scrambling for lab science credit requirements, a feeling I have never known.
Looking back on it now, I realize my appreciation for science was cultivated long before I even really understood the facts behind the experiment. It took years for me to fully embrace my quest and forge my own way through the tangles of unfamiliar language and unrecognizable inhabitants of this other world. This that began as a whimsical compliance to the adventures that awaited me transformed into a childhood of fascination and growth and ultimately made way for a future of learning and discovery.
Your first paragraph had be intrigued because of all the description. However, you should have mentioned the lab earlier because I was getting confused by about the 3rd paragraph. Good choice as you successfully tied your childhood to the present as well as your future aspirations.
Gina, I liked how you went back to your roots of your career choice. That made the essay very personal and interesting. I liked your use of metaphors throughout the essay, however, I feel that you should mention what your adventure is in the first paragraph. This could be in the form of your thesis, but it allows the reader to grasp the direction of the essay instead of constantly guessing what it could be. I also think making a thesis will provide a good foundation for your essay. I felt that the second paragraph was a little confusing, but that could be something that can be resolved with explaining what your adventure is about in the first paragraph. Your last paragraph was great as it told the reader that the essay was about tracing your aspirations back to your childhood. Overall, I liked it and you did a good job with it.
I really liked your essay. Your descriptive language was on point, and I like how you brought it back at the end. I didn’t, however, see a clear thesis that could be summed up in a sentence or two–like how this story related to the bigger picture. I think maybe including a paragraph or a sentence about this at the beginning of your essay would really help tie it all together. Great job!