Concussions

I will never forget May 3^rd, 2011; but I can barely remember anything that happened.  My life was turned upside down: no activity, no music, no computer, and tons of mandatory sleep.  I received my 6^th concussion on May 3, 2011, to be followed by my 7^th a week later.  I had constant headaches for over two years as a result of post concussion syndrome, yet managed to learn many valuable life lessons from an otherwise awful experience.  Here is how the last three years of my life have been:

Day 1: May 3^rd, 2011 Lacrosse State Quarterfinals

Junior year.  Starting in the biggest game of the season, college coaches in the stands, and playing our biggest rivals for a chance at the state semi-finals. All I can remember is getting the ball in the first quarter, then blacking-in with a few teammates around me.  Apparently I scored.  Apparently I had 2 goals and an assist and apparently our team won the game.  But I don’t remember.

Day 7: May 10^th, 2011 Lacrosse State Championship

Something was different. No, it wasn’t; I told myself I was fine.  I’d had headaches before, and this was nothing new.  The athletic trainer had me sit out of practice for a couple days, but we were playing for the state-championship; and winning is everything.  So obviously I told my athletic trainers my head was fine.  And obviously my coach wanted me to play.  So, as any other athlete would, I played. BAM. Concussion number 7.

Day 127: September 7^th, 2011

Beginning of my senior year.  The year that every single kid looks forward to, where the hard work from junior year pays off.  But instead of the best year of high school, my senior year was plagued by terrible headaches, Every. Single. Day. Everything I had looked foreword to as a senior: gone.  It only took two weeks of school before I was removed and homeschooled because I couldn’t handle all the academic work; let alone the noise and light.  If I were feeling GREAT, I mean truly AMAZING, then I would try and go on a 10-minute walk.  Other than that the only time I left my house was for the countless doctor appointments.  But lets fast-forward a bit…

Day 1,076: Today

Yes, today is day number one thousand and seventy six.  In other words, that is 15% of my life up to this point, every day affected by my one decision made three years ago.  While I stopped getting daily headaches summer of 2013, it is not uncommon for me to get severe headaches 4 or 5 days of the week to this day.  On the bright side, I gained a superpower as I can now tell when it is going to rain because the change in pressure gives me a headache that barely lets me get out of bed.

While this brief narrative of the past three years of my life may seem depressing, there are several lessons to be gained from my experience. Most importantly: if you get hit in the head, no matter what, stop what you’re doing.  Don’t try and be the tough person and ignore a headache.  It’s as simple as that. I personally put all the blame on myself for trying to play so soon after a concussion and knowing that I still had headaches.  But I was a young high school kid.  How was I— or anyone else— supposed to know what could happen to me?  Athletic trainers as well as coaches also have an obligation to realize that there are bigger things at stake than winning a game.  Also, as much as coaches want to trust players, we are just kids who will lie and do what ever it takes to play because it is often harder to see the bigger picture of health issues as a kid.

I am not a very religious person by nature, but sometime during my homeschooled senior year my dad showed me this saying, “Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.”  This really spoke to me, as I was constantly getting angry and depressed when homeschooled.  However, I now realize that there are many things in life that are simply out of our control, and as cliché as it may sound, there really is no point in stressing over them.  Beyond the importance of spreading the word of head injuries, I believe that this is one of the most important lessons I can share from my experience.

At one point, I thought that my concussion was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.  But I hope that through my experiences I am able to help other people that go through similar experiences as me.  One of the scariest parts of having post concussion syndrome is that very few people understand what is happening to them.  Further, with a concussion there are no visible injuries such as with a broken arm.  Because of this, nobody can really see what is wrong with you and thinks you are making symptoms up.  I found that nobody except others going through similar experiences could understand what it is like to have to sit in a dark room for hours to try and feel normal.  I now meet with anyone I hear of going through similar experiences to me, as the most therapeutic and comforting medicine I have discovered is knowing you are not alone.  Spreading awareness of post concussion syndrome will help people in knowing they are not alone, rather there are many other people just as lost and confused looking for the same medical solutions that unfortunately don’t exist yet.