Growing up, I had always gone to school with my best friends who all lived around me. We did everything together: school, Chinese lessons, dance classes, birthday parties, bus rides, everything. You name it, and I did it with my childhood friends. So you can imagine my surprise when my parents came up to me one day in 5th grade, and told me that I was to apply for private school, something none of my other friends were doing at all. I first got angry like a little girl, then started crying like a little girl, and finally gave up, because what’s a little girl like me to do when your parents tell you to do something? You have to do it.
So I started applying to different schools, secretly trying to sabotage my interviews or my essays so they wouldn’t accept me. Surprisingly enough, I got accepted to the Lovett School, an “independent, coeducational day school serving children from Kindergarten through Grade 12”. My parents were excited, because apparently Lovett was the second best private school in Atlanta, but I was mad because they didn’t let me go to the other private school that looked liked Hogwarts. Dickens would probably say that “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, but I just thought it was the worst of times.
Nonetheless, I started going to Lovett in 6th grade. I lived 45 minutes away, had to get a collared shirt and plaid skirt uniform, and, worst of all, couldn’t be with my best friends. None of that mattered to my parents, as they just wanted me to have a better education. So I decided to suck it up, and give the school a try. I put on the uniform everyday as well as a smile and tried to enjoy the great opportunity my parents had given me.
As time passed and I slowly grew more accustomed to Lovett, I began to make some new friends. We all had class together, struggled in PE together, and joked about it after school over chocolate-chip cookies. I started to fit in. When I went home to my childhood friends, they would ask me, “Do you Lovett at Lovett?” to which I would respond, “Yeah! I think so!”
Finally, the first spirit NUD (no uniform day) came around, and we were all supposed to wear blue. I showed up to school not thinking much about what I was wearing, only to see all of my friends were wearing very nice, preppy clothes. Sitting at lunch with them, I felt like an outsider again. I was wearing my favorite handed down shirt from my mom, while everyone else was sporting their favorite designer shirts. I felt like a Weasley trying to blend in with a bunch of Malfoys. In that moment, I was so embarrassed that I didn’t fit in. And from that day on, I was so embarrassed to be different from my friends in any way possible. I was humiliated to not be from the same area or not go to the same church (or even go to church at all). I was even more ashamed that I was Asian, and not White like the rest of my friends. This time, when my childhood friends asked me again, “Do you Lovett at Lovett?” I responded again, “Yeah! Of course!”
But that was a lie. I DIDN’T Lovett at Lovett. My school friends began to ostracize me because of my differences (middle school is a dark place where people actually do that), and I didn’t fit in at school. However, I didn’t completely fit in at home with my childhood friends either, and I was embarrassed to tell them that I was not enjoying my new school. Years passed, as I felt stuck in this limbo of in between-ness, belonging to neither world. I started to hate myself, because I felt so different and alone. My mom noticed and asked me to open up to her more. Eventually, I told her what had been going on with my friends. She opened up to me with her story, about her coming to America, and how she felt alone and had no one to turn to. She then gave me the most valuable advice I had ever received, “love yourself, and remember that your independence is your best quality. You don’t belong to anyone but yourself.”
As cheesy as that moment was, I will never forget my mom’s advice about loving myself and owning my independence. From then on, I looked at life in a different way. I no longer tried to be somebody that I was not. And the next time someone asked me, “Do you Lovett at Lovett?” I found myself saying neither yes nor no. I didn’t even try to lie or cover up my true feelings. Instead, I realized that my answer didn’t really matter, because I didn’t need to Lovett at Lovett to love myself.
I really enjoyed this essay. I think the personal touch gave you a lot of credibility with your readers—the vulnerability made it easy to relate to you, especially with a topic like this. I like how you pulled several different “tools” into your essay, using famous quotes, personal quotes, Harry Potter references, and a fun play on words (admittedly it took me longer to get it than it should have). As usual, your voice definitely shines through on this piece and I enjoyed reading it and learning about another snippet of your life (in a not creepy way). If there was anything I would suggest, it would just be to touch up a few transitions throughout. The part in the first paragraph about acting like a little girl reads a little choppily compared to a lot of your other sentences. Also, the Hogwarts to Dickens transition is a little abrupt and could be sort of awkward. Overall, good essay!
This is a really good essay. You made something that is usually trite such as “Be independent” and “love yourself” really interesting and compelling. Writing your essay around “Do you love it at Lovett?” reminded me of the essay that was written around every time the author had a gun pulled on him. It was very effective. Maybe conclude with a little more on how that lesson you learned helps you today.
Hi Jenn,
This essay was definitely relatable. You use a very direct tone, which makes the essay sound honest and believable. I also think that overall, your essay is structured very clearly, so that every paragraph has its own purpose. I did feel, however, as though you spend a long time in the beginning just telling your story – so I felt a little like I was left hanging in the beginning because I was constantly searching for your thesis up until you brought in the true argument of your essay in the middle. Maybe just a short sentence or two in the beginning to let the reader know why you are telling this story in the first place would help. I also think it would help your essay if you started the paragraph that begins with “Finally” with some other statement that hints to us that a big change is about to happen – you going from liking Lovett to feeling like an outsider. It feels more like a change rather than a continuation which the word “finally” implies.
I really liked this personal essay and the many writing techniques such as repetition you used throughout this essay. I think that it would have been more beneficial to have more about the lesson you learned than the single last paragraph because it really is a great topic that everyone can relate to.
Jenn, I really enjoyed this essay! I can relate in a way since I had a really hard time fitting in and adjusting when I moved to Canada. Some parts made me laugh, like the part where you said that you had wanted to go to the school that looked like Hogwarts! I think that it was very fluid and natural, making it easy to read. I do agree with Preston that there could be more elaboration on the reflection of your mom’s advice. Maybe you could relate this advice to later experiences in your life, like how did this advice help you in the future, etc.? Overall, great job!
Jenn, this was a really nicely written essay- very fluid and easily taken in. I really like how you used the repetition of “Do you love it at Lovett?,” it created a nice sense of pace and your answers were able to represent your changing emotions. I also thought it was nice that the most personally reflective part of the essay stems from your mom’s advice– maybe you could touch more on the impact of parents on their kids to broaden your topic? Either way, nice job!