“Act like everything fine and if it isn’t, we ain’t lettin’ anybody in our family business”
Kanye West, Family Business
As I walked out of class, the screen of my phone showed two missed calls from Mom. This was unusual since my Mom always knows my class schedule by heart and never calls when she knows I’m busy. I tried not to jump to any conclusions, but worry began to grow in the pit of my stomach. The moment I got outside I called back, but I couldn’t discern much from her tone as she told me she was putting my Dad on the phone. That worry turned to fear as I listened to my father struggle for words. Tears swelled in my eyes and streamed down my face as I dreaded to hear what he could not say.
I really hope I never experience what it’s like to get shot in the chest, but after that moment I think I have a pretty good idea of how it would feel. I fell to my knees and I cried loud and hard. Must have been quite a scene in the middle of a crowded campus, as a number of sympathetic passerby asked if I was OK. I thought, for the first time in my life, that the answer was no. I have never felt so far from home as I did in that moment, and I have never known a greater pain than the pain that I felt in that moment. It was just after twelve noon on Thursday, January 17th, 2013, and my Grandpa had died unexpectedly at the age of 76 just minutes before.
The eight hours between that moment and the moment I saw my Dad at LaGuardia Airport in New York remain unparalleled as the longest and worst of my life. Not a tear was shed nor a word uttered as we embraced amidst a crowd of hurried travelers. I knew the worst was behind us now that we were together, and I know that he felt that too. Even though I know that there was nothing I could have done, it remains the heaviest regret of my life that I was not there with him and the rest of my family that day. As we drove from the airport to my Grandma’s house, my Dad said, “before today, the worst day of my life was when Reggie (our beautiful twelve-year-old Akita) died”. I managed a short laugh as I thought to myself that it was the worst day of my life, too.
I’m not sure if irony is the right word, but the moment I walked inside to see my Grandma, my Mom, and my brother may have been the happiest moment of my life. The pain of being away from them for that time hurt me more maybe even than our loss itself, but when I saw their faces, eyes red with dried tears, that pain was gone in an instant. My Grandpa was always happiest when my whole family was together. I think it took me until that day to realize that those times are when I am happiest, too. I remember him best at the head of a long dinner table, laughing with his wife to his right, and his sons, their wives whom he loved as dearly as he would his own daughters, and his grandchildren all around. We have and will continue to sit at that table together, and even though he is gone, he is always there with us.
I did not choose to write this essay to write a sob story, though I may have shed a tear or two in the process. Everyone dies. Personally, I opt not to concern myself too much with what happens after that, for any idea I have ever had about fulfillment or joy after death pales in comparison to the fulfillment and joy in a life lived the way my Grandpa did his. I apologize for any sadness I may have caused with these words and my own sadness in them. Like I said, I didn’t mean for this to be a sob story. I meant it as a reminder and a personal testament to the fact that family is not the thing that matters most, it is the only thing that matters. Trust me.
I really loved your vulnerability in this piece. The personal touch and admittance of mistakes/uncertainties/etc. really gave you credibility with your readers. I like that you took us through your entire experience with the situation from finding out to being in it to learning your lessons through it. I also very much enjoyed your last paragraph, ending with “Trust me;” I thought it was a nice piece of advice to impart on your readers, especially given the credibility you built up in the piece. However, your thesis doesn’t really come through at all until the end so perhaps introducing a sentence or two in the beginning about the importance of family could be helpful. **Side note, from reading this essay I feel like you may really enjoy MHS225 Death and Dying in America. I think you might have some valuable insight and might find the course really interesting. Just a thought.
Hey Dan. Wow. That is all I have to say right now. That essay was truly amazing and I agree with Preston in saying that this essay honestly is one of your best pieces I have read. I also agree with everyone else: the last paragraph could be changed to maybe include something else about your grandfather’s significance or a reflective statement about how you want to honor your grandfather? At the very least, I don’t think you need to apologize at all. This is your story, and I personally loved that by simply reading something you wrote, I was able to be emotionally moved. Don’t apologize in the last paragraph! Overall this was such a great essay!! I loved it.
I agree with everyone else, you should take out the part about apologizing. However, this was a fabulous essay. I like how you didn’t just jump right to it in the beginning of the essay, but rather talked about details like how you were already nervous when your mom called you during class. I also enjoyed your reflection throughout the paper.
Dan, this is a really great essay. I think your best work yet, actually. I really like how you described your pain and emotion in the first two paragraphs before actually stating what happened to justify your reaction– I think it’s a really good way to keep the reader intrigued. Your emotion came through really well in this essay as you used a lot of details and descriptive writing. You also have a very strong conclusion, but I would cut the apology out- you shouldn’t have to apologize for writing how you felt/feel– if you invoke similar emotions in your readers then I’d say that’s great writing. Nice work!
I think this essay captures the perfect amount of sadness and what you learned from it. I agree I don’t think you should be apologetic at the end because the emotion is what makes this essay so great and you shouldn’t apologize for that! The only other thing is that I personally got confused when you had the transition to LaGuardia, maybe just mention that you were in Nashville. But other than that great job!!
Wow, this is a great essay. Your passion and pain come through really well in your words. Your language isn’t overly descriptive, but give enough detail for us to really empathize with you. I think the essay has great flow, however I’m not sure how I feel about the last paragraph. I like it up until “I apologize”. I think that sentence and the sentence that follows it interrupt the tone of the essay. Maybe try taking those two sentences out and see how the essay sounds? Really good job!