{"id":1792,"date":"2015-09-08T07:15:25","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T12:15:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/vanderbiltdivinity\/?p=1792"},"modified":"2016-12-02T15:40:02","modified_gmt":"2016-12-02T20:40:02","slug":"alumniae-tuesday-sarah-porter-mdiv13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/my.vanderbilt.edu\/vanderbiltdivinity\/2015\/09\/alumniae-tuesday-sarah-porter-mdiv13\/","title":{"rendered":"Alumni\/ae Tuesday – Sarah Porter, MDiv’13"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our monthly\u00a0Alumni\/ae Tuesday Guest Post series on the VDS Voices blog highlights posts written by VDS and GDR alumni\/ae. Hear firsthand about their important work in the community, collaborations with other alumni\/ae and faculty, and much more.<\/em><\/p>\n

Be sure to also check out the Divinity School Instagram feed every Tuesday for our\u00a0Alumni\/ae Instagram Takeover Day. Each week, we will showcase a different alumnus\/a as they document their day in photos. Follow @VUDivinity on Instagram today!<\/em><\/p>\n

If would like to contribute a post to the\u00a0Alumni\/ae Tuesday Guest Post series, or participate in our\u00a0Alumni\/ae Instagram Takeover Day, please\u00a0email\u00a0Addie Sullivan (addie.sullivan@vanderbilt.edu) \u00a0in the Vanderbilt Divinity School Alumni\/ae office.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Seeking ‘a dignity that trusts the form a day takes”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve heard lots of people confess it, so let me add my voice: The transition from divinity school to a desk job is rough.<\/p>\n

The first day, I brought in my standbys: A Thecla icon and a few strategically placed lines of poetry. By the second month, I brought bright photos to hang on my wall. A Julian of Norwich-inspired piece was my desktop image (\u201cAll shall be well\u201d). Later, I pinned fabric all over my cubicle and artfully stacked a bunch of books under a floral teacup. A year into it, I spent $100 at Target to make my desk look like a living room. Affirming sticky notes littered my workspace: \u201cChoose joy!\u201d \u201cFollow your dreams!\u201d \u201cPick your battles.\u201d It didn\u2019t work. I was still mostly miserable.<\/p>\n

And this is all with the acknowledgement that I am one of the lucky few: I finished my M.Div. on a Thursday in December 2013. The following Monday, I started a job in a mainline Protestant agency that was relevant to my degree. My main job responsibilities included social media, volunteer management, and planning a 650-person event \u2013 all oriented toward college students.<\/p>\n

Honestly, I found my work diverting and pleasant. I could make meaning out of it with little effort. With the team I supported, I provided opportunities for exploration and growth to students. This is, after all, my life\u2019s call: to facilitate precisely these kinds of encounters and conversations, to ask the kinds of questions that provide the rattle to the cage of complacency that so many young adults crave. In my work, I made space for activists to share their frameworks and actions with large audiences; I wrote about confronting the world\u2019s violence and spiritual (dis)affiliation; I debated how and whether an institution ought to manufacture movements.<\/p>\n

And yet.<\/em><\/p>\n

I spent more at Starbucks in eighteen months than I spent in my whole time in graduate school, because I feared I\u2019d explode without the daily fifteen-minute walk for that cup of coffee. I was called a grump by my partner more times than I care to admit. I was unable to name things that bring joy to my life when my friends inquired. Mondays generally included a half-bottle of wine. My back muscles were crinkled and achy. I watched hours and hours of television.<\/p>\n

Obviously, I am not a poster child for things like self-care, adaptability, or balance. I never have been. I do not recommend any of the above-mentioned coping mechanisms. But I do have some inklings on what made this transition so frustrating. Perhaps identifying the causes might alleviate the symptoms:<\/p>\n