September Reflections
Aidan Pace
In exploring wellness at Vanderbilt, I chose to pursue mental wellbeing as the aspect of wellness on which I will focus this semester. In past years at Vanderbilt, I have felt my mental health deteriorate steadily as responsibilities and commitments build throughout the semester. While I rarely experience sleeping and eating issues outside of Vanderbilt due to stress and anxiety, throughout my three years here, I consistently have experienced heightened levels of anxiety that lead to sleep issues, social isolation, and inability to focus. In creating a mental wellbeing plan suited for the anxiety issues I and others face at Vanderbilt, I have developed resolutions in the categories of relationships, reflection, and identity development to combat anxiety and further my mental wellness growth.
- Relationships
- Spend time in the Mayfield common room from 11:00 – 12:00 pm at least two times per week
- Have at least three one-on-one meals with friends every week
- Call family every other week
- Reflection
- Monday mornings from 8 – 9 am will be spent in reading for pleasure and reflection
- At least two journal entries per week
- Identity Development
- Diversify identity placement outside of work and academics
- Train for the Nashville Marathon in the spring
- Create and execute a Nashville to-do bucket list for senior year
In considering and creating these first objectives in September, I have begun the job search, which puts additional stress and anxiety on me as a senior. This month has been one of my worst in terms of anxiety. While this moth has been unusually trying for me, taking this especially difficult month to reflect on where to focus my mental wellbeing efforts for the year has been insightful.
Cullan Bedwell
Sleep, in my opinion, is the most important aspect in maintaining mental health. Therefore, for my first reflection, I want to reflect on the sleep habits of my family. After thinking about them, I consider myself lucky to have the ability to get a good night’s sleep, especially when considering the symptoms that plague different members of my immediate family.
Both my father and my eldest brother suffer from chronic snoring. I have other family members that snore, but, for both of them, it’s not just any kind of snoring. During at least three-quarters of every night, it sounds like the walls around them are crumbling down. WebMD says that a little under half of adult men (about a quarter of adult women) suffer from snoring, but, from a surprisingly decent sample size, these two far surpass any adult I have come into contact with. Unsurprisingly, this not only affects those trying to sleep around them but also decreases their sleep quality. After a little research, I found that the possible health effects include interrupted breathing, frequent waking from sleep, inability to sleep deeply, high blood pressure, and drowsiness. Sadly, this is a thorn in their side that they have accepted as untreatable. Since snoring is so common, apathy towards trying to get better sleep is widespread, as seen in my family, causing everyone’s sleep health to continue suffering.
Furthermore, my youngest brother suffers from two sleep disorders – sleep apnea (stops breathing while sleeping) and narcolepsy (has overwhelming daytime drowsiness). Over the past two years, he has done sleep studies at hospitals and taken medication, but overall, his quality of life has greatly been affected as he’s always tired and can only get low quality sleep. This has led to his many aspects of his life suffering as he’s falling asleep in class, doing homework, or trying to hang out with friends. My mom is very hopeful that things are looking up and continues to push for trying new methods to tackle both of his conditions, but he has accepted his fate, like my father and eldest brother. He’s currently a senior in High School, so him dealing with sleeping issues at this transitional time is a huge burden on him, especially because he’s not as driven as Vanderbilt students. It wasn’t until last month that he decided to give college a shot, he’s never worked a day in his life, and he’s not involved in any extracurriculars. I can’t help but wonder how tackling this would be different for someone who is striving after something that requires lots of work, like most people here at Vanderbilt.
These are just three people in my immediate family, and they by no means reach the depths of the struggles that some people have in being a healthy sleeper. I feel for those out there who are unable to sleep well, especially given that schedules often don’t allow for extra, often even demanding cutting hours back.
Yuhang Zhang
In the genuine pursuit of mental wellness, the goal cannot be perfection, but rather to improve upon and gently heal whatever issues there may be. September turned out to be tumultuous, a month that required me to rest upon (sometimes unwillingly) my faith and the friends around me.
One of the biggest things that I felt this month was being unworthy and underqualified. As I’m sure a lot of people at this university feel, I felt like that there never truly was a moment in my life where I wasn’t “excellent” at something. However, this semester, with some really difficult courses and just the constant struggle and anxiety of the job search, I felt like I not only wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t even good. I was just – me.
That was a really difficult struggle for me, because I have grown accustomed to finding my identity within what I can do and who others value me as, not simply in the physical body and imperfect mind that I inhabit. It’s so easy, too – our names become masks that we wear, coating ourselves in accomplishments so as to bear the harsh winds of reality. For it is only by keeping a disposable identity that I am able to shake off feelings of inadequacy and failure – I can just change who I am.
Growing in being vulnerable and truly authentic required me to face a difficult reality – that my mental unwellness wasn’t simply something new to overcome and fight past because it wasn’t abnormal. In fact, it might’ve been one of the clearest glimpses of reality that I’ve found in a while because it forced me to confront the imperfections of the world and of myself. And when I finally had to face those fears, face to face, staring at my own face in the mirror without flinching or looking away – What was there left to say or dodge or polish or edit? It’s just me.
The journey to acceptance is an ongoing one, and I definitely have not found the solution to it – honestly, I don’t think I ever will. However, it came through understanding that though I wasn’t anything special, I didn’t have to be. There were people near me who would love me despite seeing through my flaws, and people who would have mercy and compassion when they saw through my shields, and people who would care for me when I couldn’t fight for myself. I am not a machine, but no one is asking me to be – if I fall apart occasionally, or sometimes don’t have the energy to push myself to the utter brink – well, that’s not perfect or ideal, but it’s okay.
Jonah Jordening
In 2013, the American Psychological Association reported that a survey found that anxiety (41.6%) and depression (36.4%) was a top presenting concern among college students.1 You would be hard pressed to find someone here at Vanderbilt, a university filled with high-achieving and competitive students, that would question these statistics. Though the university provides resources to help improve the well-being of students, almost inevitably, there will be a time here where you experience anxiety, stress, or even depression in some form – although the extremity of the symptoms will differ greatly from person to person. As for myself, I have not been able to completely avoid the mental burdens of anxiousness, stress, and melancholy during my time here. It has been a series of ups, downs, and a lot of time in between.
Our Mayfield project focuses on “well-being,” but what exactly does that mean? Admittedly, it is a vague concept, but I believe this allows each individual to explore what that concept personally means to them and how they best achieve it. Is it physical well-being? Mental? Emotional? Spiritual? It’s mostly likely a mix of everything and anything in between. Personally, I wish to use this opportunity to closely and purposely examine my life, share my experiences – my successes and my failures – and uncover how I can achieve my own sense of well-being. Although everyone is different, I hope some of my findings may help others as well.
I believe that all aspects of your life are important in achieving a sense of well-being. Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual wellness is all intertwined. That being said, I will focus on “mental” well-being this year. So, without further ado, here’s my report on this month. September went fairly well for me in achieving mental well-being for the following reasons:
1. Making and Keeping a Schedule
In the past, I never kept a schedule for myself. I just did things when I thought of them. However, there was always a subtle underlying stress that I would forget to do something (which I sometimes did). This may seem obvious for those who are naturally organized, but taking the time each week to schedule out my days has eased my mental burden. I feel more on top of things, and it makes planning my time so much easier.
2. A Good Night’s Rest
During my college career, my mental well-being has more or less correlated with my sleep schedule. When things were good, I’d fall asleep around midnight and wake up for class the next day. When things weren’t going well, I’d be consistently sleeping from 4-10, or skipping classes to sleep in more. If things got to that point, it was really hard to get out of it. So far, my sleep schedule has looked more like the former, which has left me feeling well-rested and happy each day.
3. Free Time = Friend Time
I have been using my free periods to hang out with friends, instead of holing myself up in my room. Engaging with other people is great for mental well-being. There have been times when I isolated myself – I told myself I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with other people, which was a complete lie. In reality, every time I dragged myself out from my hole to hang out with friends, I felt much better. This September, I have kept up with spending my free-time with other people, which has made me much happier.
This reflection is getting kind of long, so I’ll end it here. I hope to continue these habits and search for new ways to improve my mental well-being.