In this video we have three parties involved. Let’s look at them.
One. A goat that somehow managed to get its leg stuck underneath the rapids of a fake petting zoo pond. Honestly I’m not too familiar with goats or goat culture but a quick Google search led me to believe they are neither the smartest, nor the most courageous creatures in the Animal kingdom. My Google search also said goats were supposed to be good swimmers, but who knows how many drowned toddler carcasses or these things that apparently kill animals are at the bottom of that lake. The goat probably shouldn’t have even gotten into that lake, but he is absolved of all blame. He is the victim.
Two. A human. A product of millions of years of evolution that all led to intensely effective critical thinking skills, survival instincts, and seventeen seasons of The Bachelor. We have long limbs capable of walking, running, climbing, and, wait for it, swimming. We even think we have been imparted with a magical sense of right and wrong and a destiny as the protectors of the planet and all that it contains. But this specimen of the species can only muster up a “Goat in the water!” grunt while focusing his camera on the death of one of God’s other glorious creatures. The only good thing this guy ever did was upload this video to YouTube. Luckily for us, his idiocy sets the stage for…
Three. Our hero. From the very same animal that brought you the McRib and unkosherness, we get this breathtaking inspirational act of selflessness and bravery. He saves the day and just carries on sniffing the ground for stuff. Ain’t no thing. I don’t think a pig has stolen the show like this since Pumba totally upstaged Simba in Lion King 1.5.
Bonus goat and pig videos—
Why We Suck may hate most humans, but we love all cute animals.
